My past two weeks have been manically busy and the next two weeks are looking to follow suit.  I am naturally hyperactive, possibly even have ADHD, so the everyday bustle of being a mum doesn't really affect me, hence the need to add 'stuff'.  But these 4 weeks are a challenge even for me.



Two weeks ago today a family member who was extremely dear to me, my main father figure (my own father was estranged and suffers from schizophrenia) passed away under horrible circumstances.

 It was a shock, and, for me, whom has only lost one other person close to me, it felt as though my life was coming to an end.  The reality as I knew it was being stripped away, all my childhood memories and stability's had been shaken from the core.  I love and crave change and movement but can only survive when everything and everyone stays the same.  Confusing?  I know.

Usually I'm a smile and carry on kinda girl but this time there was no smile; for the sake of my family I carried on and as my uncle had two daughters my mind told me

"You have no right to be upset as he actually was their father and you still have yours." 

It didn't hurt any less.
My coping mechanism was to help as much as I could through the day, rush around behind the children in the evening, start up a YouTube channel and blog through the night!  I can count on fingers and toes how much sleep I've had over the past week.  I managed to burst into tears almost everywhere including my sons school.  I finally realised that I just needed to have a good old cry.

In the midst of all this is an upcoming Easter holiday, the annual spring clean, my uncle's funeral and my wedding anniversary ended by a month long trip to my ancestral home Barbados.

Easter is the easy bit.  Roast, eggs, decorate house with flowers, church, done.  The spring clean mmmmm, the funeral is the day before I fly, we'll be in Barbados for our wedding anniversary and the Barbados trip?
The baby needed a passport and two of the boys needed renewals, with the lagging baby brain and budgeted funds I left things late and ended up driving from North West London to Peterborough for a fast track appointment, costing a hefty £277.  I haven't begun packing which is rare for me and everyone needs new summer clothes!  The baby has diarrhoea and vomiting, probably caught from me as I was suffering at the beginning of the week, so no nursery and he is super clingy, so no work can be done by me!  The pile of washing was so high it's taken me the full week to wash it all, now only to end up with a huge pile to fold, pack or put away!  Oh and the doctors have given me an appointment for all of our travel injections on the day before we fly, did I mention that's the day of the funeral.

At the end of this my positive thought is

"when I collapse from emotional and physical exhaustion, it will be on a beautiful sandy beach in sunny Barbados!"

Jealous much?!!

Tomboy -x



Follow my coming posts about:

• Spring Cleaning
• Packing for an international trip with kids
• My Barbados adventure starting on 3rd April....